am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
