I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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