So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
In other news, I just burned my penis
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
