Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
