I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
