broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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