so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
