It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
