1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
