It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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