About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
