Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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