Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
