we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
