Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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