About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
