He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
