You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
