Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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