I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
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