Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
