i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
