suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
