She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize