similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
She needs sedatives and a leash
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Randomize
