Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
