i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
