apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
