She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
