I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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