worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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