It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
