new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
