That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
