I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
