He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
