I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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