fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize