GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
