Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you win again, gameday.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
