I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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