I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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