Whoa Z and x make the same sound
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
