i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
then he tried to convert me to islam
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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