I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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