he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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