i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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