so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
