get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
