I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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