you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
