like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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