Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just high enough for therapy.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
