try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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