i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
