No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
