Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
