I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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