I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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