Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
