WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
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