I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
