wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
