I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize