mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
