whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
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