Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
