She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
