we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
