had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
