Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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